A common reaction that I get when I tell someone that I am a therapist is:
“Oh, that must be really hard, listening to people’s problems all day. You must hear some really difficult things.”
I honestly don't experience it that way at all. I blooming love what I do.As a therapist, I get to feel like I am making a difference to an individual. Maybe in the work we do together I can help them see a way through, or, when that just isn't possible at this point in time, I might be able to make them feel heard and understood, that there is some hope on the horizon, or perhaps simply that they are not alone. I also get to see people take massive, brave steps, or move from a place where they feel powerless or incapable, to feeling not only capable but actually pretty good at stuff. I can't tell you what that does for me. I don't do my job out of the goodness of my heart, or as a burden. I do it because I absolutely love it. It fills me with pride and with joy.As a supervisor for therapists, coaches and other helping professionals, I get a very similar sense of satisfaction from that as I do working directly with clients. I get to hear from my fellow helping professionals and feel like I have made some sort of difference. Sometimes that means giving some input to help them find a way forward. Sometimes it is just enabling the group to share with one another and recognise that other people wrestle with the same things that they do, and that they have support. I get to hear from them the things that they have tried out, and I often feel immense pride on their behalf as they grow in confidence or skill. I get to feel like I am not only helping that individual person, but all the people they work with too.
This year I got to run some group supervision sessions on a voluntary basis for the outreach team at Broxtowe Women’s Project. I really can't express how much I have got from this work. This bunch are doing work that makes such a massive difference. The idea that I get to help out with that in some way fills my cup in a way I can't quite explain.
And now I get to share these blogs and videos, too.
When I started my therapy training nearly 15 years ago (!), I was really annoyed that I hadn’t been told any of this stuff before, and I had a bee in my bonnet about somehow sharing it in a way that anybody could see it and understand it, and now I get to do that too. Not only that, but more recently, I get to hear feedback from people about how they have found that.
When I started out with this stuff nearly 4 years ago, I had about 300 Instagram followers (all people I knew personally), had never heard of Tiktok and the idea of a weekly newsletter was so far out of my mind I couldn’t even tell you.
It feels a bit weird and braggy to talk numbers. However, I trust you will understand my intention and I want to say the numbers to illustrate the point, so here it is:
45k Instagram followers. 31k on Tiktok. A few thousand more shared around Linkedin, Threads, Facebook and Youtube (I know, casting my net wide) and all of you lot on my mailing list.
Stated in pure numbers, I find it hard to feel much. I know they are big numbers and I know I should feel pride or awe or something like that, but I just can’t. If anything, big numbers like that make me feel a little bit scared and exposed, like I am on a stage or something.
However. Every now and then I get a message or a comment from someone, telling me that they got something from a post or a newsletter, or that it hit them at the right moment. I have had some people tell me that they have felt seen or understood, or felt a little more hopeful. I have had a few people tell me that they watch my videos or read my stuff with their children, or that it has helped them communicate with their partner in a different way.
Now that I can connect with. That never fails to get me right in the feels.
So, when I am not sure what to do or where to go next, or the big numbers feel scary, I think about those big numbers as individual people who chose to follow along because something I did or said meant something to them. I think about how it is unlikely that each piece of content I put out there is going to chime with all of them in that moment, but as long as it is useful for someone, it is worthwhile. That feels like a lot less pressure, and it makes me feel proud of what I do.
So, that is where my head is at as we come towards the end of the year. I want to say thank you. Thank you for following along and making me feel like this stuff I am doing is useful, or makes a difference.
I genuinely couldn’t do it without that.
Something to think about
If there are people who have made a difference to you this year, in whatever form that may take, do they know that is what they have done for you?
Something to do
Maybe drop them a line.
Thanks for reading! Until next week (and next year, I suppose),
Ted
P.S. My next newsletter is going to be about setting reasonable expectations for yourself in the New Year, rather than going with humungous and unreasonable ones. Just a little heads-up.
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