When we find ourselves overthinking things, it is often because our minds are searching for a perfect answer, or a way forward that will result in no regrets at all.
Sometimes this can happen with things that feel really big (like making a big purchase, deciding on a job offer or whether to move somewhere else), but sometimes it can happen for seemingly tiny things (e.g. what to have for breakfast, where we should go this weekend, or what to watch). Either way, we can spend so much time and energy trying to make a decision, that it becomes really draining (and it doesn’t end up making much difference to the outcome anyway).
When we are stuck completely in our heads and trying to look for the “right” solution, we can go round in circles forever. Not because we haven’t researched it or thought about it enough, but because there simply isn’t a “correct” answer, or it just isn’t possible to know what the best option is before we give it a go.
You can read all the reviews you like, you will never know whether one restaurant is better than another before you go. You can browse Netflix until your eyes dry up, but you can’t tell which programme is best until you choose one and give it a shot.
If this is you, a useful thing to practice is listening more to your gut.
Rather than asking “What is the best decision here?” and going back to the pros and cons, ask yourself “What does my gut say?” and try to go with that.
It’s not that this means that you will make the right decision all the time. It is more that you were never going to guarantee an outcome anyway, so at least this way you get to spend a little less time in your head.
Something to think about
Your gut does sometimes tell you some things your head just can’t. In particular, in social interactions, you might find that you feel uncomfortable with someone in your gut, but your head can’t quite put your finger on why. That is because your gut (or more accurately, the more unconscious parts of your brain) picks up on tiny things link the fact that someone’s smile doesn’t quite reach their eyes.
If there are things you end up feeling uncertain about in social interactions, asking yourself “What is my gut telling me?” can be really helpful.
Something to do
If you know you find it hard to know what your gut says, because your head is so loud, practice paying attention to what your gut says about the tiniest everyday decisions. What does my gut say about this piece of music? What does my gut say about whether I want a second coffee today? What does my gut say about which pair of pants to go for this morning? The more you practice, the easier it will become.
Thanks for reading! Until next week,
Ted
P.S. Have you read my guide to understanding and managing anxiety yet? If you have, would you mind letting me know what you think? I am working on getting more comfortable with asking for more testimonials and things like that, so anything you would be OK sending to me, I would really appreciate. If you are up for it, just reply to this email!
Comentarios